How to safely open the door to an end-of-life conversation
Key points:
- Melissa Reader, Violet's CEO, shares a personal note about opening end-of-life conversations
At Violet, we really believe that communication is at the heart of better outcomes in the last stage of life.
I'm so often asked, "What does it take to open these sensitive conversations?'"
My view is that the most important considerations are timing and tone. If you get these things right, the words tend to find their own way
I often use the analogy of 'how to open the door' to help with communication about the last stage of life.
In some cases, it might be OK to just open the door and step right into the conversation. Depth of relationship, measures of trust, people & personality are the clues to guide you here. If this feels right, take a deep breath, summon your courage and gently step in.
Sometimes you need to nudge the door gently to see if it will open. You may need to nudge several times, in fact. Try open, well-spaced questions like, “I’ve been thinking more about the last conversation with your doctor” or “I've been wondering about some of the things the aged care nurse shared with us can we have a chat about that?”
Sometimes you might sense that there is already a crack of light - the door might already be a little open. You might hear questions or comments that suggest this. If so, use the moment and ask, "Are there things on your mind you'd like to talk about?
Breathe deep. Be brave. Be gentle. Step through.
Please don't forget that whatever your situation, Violet is here to help.