Practical questions about the end of life you and your loved one need to address
Key points:
Planning for the end of life can be a challenging process, but it is also empowering
Some of these decisions are medical; some concern your loved one's legacy
Take these at a pace that’s comfortable for you both
Here, Patsy Bingham, an end-of-life doula who shares the questions she helps her clients prepare for
The end of life is a stage of life that brings with it numerous decisions, which, coupled with a diagnosis or medical event, means making these decisions becomes rushed. These decisions can put a lot of pressure on caregivers, friends or family members who want to feel confident they are giving their loved one an experience that aligns with their wishes. But simply talking to about what would be meaningful and preferred when the time comes, and documenting it, means that you can make the most of the time ahead.
Here is a list of some of the questions you are likely to face as a family if someone close is at the end of life. Some of these questions can be emotional. This list isn’t designed to be worked through in 1 sitting - or even 2. Take these at a pace that’s comfortable for you and your loved one.
Important Documents
- Is there a legal will? Incredibly 40% of Australians die without a will leaving.
Has your loved one nominated a power of attorney?
Who will your loved one appoint to speak on their behalf should they be unable to?
Have they completed an Advance Care Directive that confirms any medical interventions they may or may not want?
Where do they keep all of their important documents, house deeds, login and password information?
Practical Considerations
- Would they prefer to die at home?
Who are the family and friends that could be included in a wider support network?
Who would they like to be informed when the end of life draws closer?
Would they like a priest or other spiritual person to visit with them?
Do they want to be buried or cremated? What would they like done with their ashes?
Do they want a funeral or would they prefer to have their loved ones gather with them before they die?
Their Legacy
- Are there relationships that might need mending? If so, how can you help facilitate this for your loved one?
What would your friend or family member like to leave behind for people to cherish? You can help your loved one write letters or cards to celebrate milestones or make recordings with messages for important people
Planning for the end of life can be a challenging process, but it is also empowering, allowing your loved one to decide where, when and how they would like their final chapter to unfold.